While Watching Dora Last Night . . .

R says to me, "I love Map!"It's true. Throughout every Dora episode there are at least three or four opportunities for kids to interact with the show, by answering a question or jumping up and down or giving a command or whatever.

The one command R ALWAYS says, even when she ignores a lot of the others, is to yell "Map!"

Every episode has a moment that pretty much goes like this:

Dora: Who do we ask when we don't know where to go?

R: Map!

Dora: That's right, map. You have to say Map.

R: MAP!

Occasionally--not every time--Dora or Boots will say, "You need to say it louder!" and R will positively yell, "MAAAAAAP!"

Relatedly, when I make up Dora stories for R, the part that I can usually get her to contribute to is the part where Map is explaining where Dora has to go. She absolutely loves to make up different stops along the way.

23 Days

It's hard to believe it has been just over three weeks since Alex died. I think of him every day. I feel so honored to have gotten to meet him, to look at his beautiful face and witness the coming into the world of a new soul. It reminded me just how deeply important birth and life and death are. Even though I went into the experience knowing that he was going to die at some point and that his life would likely be very short, I wasn't prepared for it to be as heartbreakingly sad as it was, nor did I know how witnessing death--for the first time--was going to be. Holding Alex after he died was one of the most profound moments of my entire life.

I've never experienced death up close and personal like this--three of my grandparents are dead, but one grandfather died when I was only two months old; the other died at a distance and I was unable to travel for his funeral (although now I wish I had been able to make the effort); and one grandmother died after a two-week-long decline during which I was able to visit with her, say my goodbyes and prepare, but I left before she actually did die.
The emotion of standing there around Cali's hospital bed while she held Alex can't be put into words. All of us stood around the bed praying over Alex and crying and crying. I couldn't stand it, it was so sad. I wanted to reach into-- I don't even know where-- and pull Alex back and have him with us again. There isn't anything that makes this feel less sad or better: I'm thankful that he's in a better place, I'm thankful that he didn't suffer while he was with us, but it just seems so wrong for him not to be here with us.

An Afterthought to Last Night's Dinner Conversation

Rereading the recap of yesterday's dinner conversation, I realized that I answered R several times after she had specifically and directly addressed J. Maybe I shouldn't interrupt their conversations so often.

I don't really know how to handle conversations with R though. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get her to talk; often after day care pick ups she will screech at me in the car, "Don't talk to me! I don't want to talk right now!" Other times I try to initiate conversations with questions. It really doesn't work. I need to stop treating every conversation like an interrogation. But I don't really know what the best way to get her to talk is.

Sometimes I start by telling a story--she occasionally gets really into this. But it's not really a "conversation" about what she's doing or what she likes or what she's thinking about. And that's exactly what I wish I could access sometimes. Any suggestions?

Dutch Wonderland, Part II

After we got rained out during our last trip to Dutch Wonderland, we got free rain tickets to use at a later date, so we decided to take the kids and go last Saturday. It was a GREAT time, and I actually managed to get pictures of the kids with the Amish people. (You can look through the windows of the house and see scenes of life inside the Amish house. I actually really liked the decor and would totally decorate my house Amish-style if I could.)

Anyway, R and RUS had a great time. R, especially. We got there early enough to meet the princess, prince, and Duke the dinosaur. Last time R saw them but was not into going up and meeting them. This time, she insisted on hugging and high-fiving Duke each time she saw him, and she spoke with the princess on two separate occasions.
Towards the end of our time there (we left shortly after lunch), R and I got in line for the log ride and I asked her what her favorite ride was. Quite diplomatically, she said, "All of them are my favorite." But when push came to shove, this ride--the Tilt-o-Whirl--was the one she wanted to go on again and again and again. She rode it at least four times in a row, until J had to call it quits because he's got a sensitive stomach for rides like this! I was holding RUS, who was sleeping, otherwise I would have gone on it a few more times with her.
Here's our little Dutch Wonderland Prince and Princess! Ever since her trip to the apple orchard with Grammie and Grampie (pictures from that are coming in another post yet to be finalized) two weeks ago, she's had a great time sticking her head through every available picture-posing cut out thing.
This ride is hilarious. One "big person" can ride the ride with the kids, and J volunteered. The ride goes up and down, like a frog hopping, and it was really funny to see J sitting alongside all these other kids riding the thing.
This is one of the few rides R can do by herself, and even though J was all prepared to ride it with her, she insisted she wanted to do it by herself, so there she is, driving her own monster truck in the monster truck train.
The pictures are all out of sequence--this is actually the first ride she went on, and the park was not crowded yet at all, so she was the only person on the ride. It was so cute watching her fly around. J and I kept trying to get her attention so we could get a picture, but she was mostly ignoring us until J finally got this really good shot.

Tonight's Dinner Conversation

(out of the blue) R: Daddy, do you like Spiderman bandaids?

J: Yeah, I think they're pretty cool.

S (to R): Do some of your friends at school have Spiderman bandaids?

R: No.

R (to J): Maybe we need to get little tiny tiny baby Spiderman bandaids . . . for . . . for RUSy.

S (to R): Don't you think RUS can wear Dora bandaids?

R (decidedly): Boys don't like Dora.

S: Yes, they do. Daddy's a boy and he likes Dora.

R: Daddy, I don't like dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are scary. I like princesses.

S and J bust out laughing. S grabs a pen and paper to record the conversation. J, S and R recap the conversation while S is recording. After the conversation's finished, S reviews what she's written down.

R: And then I said "Daddy, do you like my shirt?"

One of my favorite pictures of Alex

There is so much to say about the experience of meeting this sweet boy. He had the most beautiful, perfect, heart-shaped lips, and here he is making one of my absolute favorite baby expressions: the perfect o-shaped mouth. Love him.

One of the greatest things about having a blog . . .

Is being able to compare "now" with the "back when" by taking trips down memory lane and re-reading old blog posts. I am especially looking forward to being able to look at what R was doing at the same age that RUS is now. I can't quite do that yet since I didn't start this blog until she was 12.5 months old, and RUS is only 11 months and 1 week old. (And I sometimes really wish I'd started it sooner, as I'd have a much richer chronicle of R's first year of life!)

BUT, even though I can't compare them as far as exact same ages, we have been breaking out lots of R's old toys, and I'm making lots of comparisons in looking at how they play with the same toys and what they like to do with them.

One toy that I pulled out in the last week is this Fisher Price Roll-A-Round Dinosaur that J bought at Once Upon A Child when R was only a couple of months old (the link takes you to a blog post I wrote about this toy when R was 13 months old):RUS absolutely loves this thing. The first time we pulled it out he couldn't stay away from it. I showed him once or twice how to put balls through the holes and he was hooked. He keeps doing it, and I've seen his skill at holding and moving the balls increase exponentially in just the last few days.

He will put anything and everything into the dinosaur. The most common non-ball targets are these blocks--they all fit into the big holes at the top of the dinosaur.He also loves to pull himself up to standing, lean over and bite the dinosaur's ruffles as well as the spinning dinosaurs at the top, and lots of other stuff too. He just LOVES this toy!

Today we were watching him play with it and he was having fun sticking his hands into both ends of one of the holes and trying to peer directly into the hole. It was so cute to watch him trying to maneuver his head in order to see into the hole.

P.S. the other thing that strikes me when I look at the differences in these posts is how much more hair RUS has now than R did at a month and a half older than he is now!!!

Shaggy to Smooth

I finally got my hair cut today. For those who have seen me in the last few weeks, it really hasn't been pretty. When random people comment on the length of your bangs, you know you've got an issue on your hands. So when my mother-in-law encouraged me -- not once, but several times -- I decided to get the hint and try to get an impromptu walk-in hair cut at the place I've been going to the last few years (it's a definite step-up from SuperCuts, GreatClips, or the HairCuttery, all places where I've gotten my hair cut less-than-satisfactorily numerous times over the years).

Before:
After:
ETA: When I told J I'd put this post up, he looked at it and commented, "You really changed your look! Are you a secret agent or something?"

Love and Family

Mail for Cousins

Today on the way to school R wanted to write some letters. J pulled out some random pieces of paper and handed them to her, and he pretended to make an envelope out of two old day care parking passes (we get them monthly, and I just keep the old ones in the car to use as scrap paper to write lists on or whatever). She insisted on taking them in to school with her, and the day care teacher there in the early mornings offered to find some envelopes for her to put her "mail" in.

So she came home with three sealed envelopes: one for G, one for Little Frog, and one for herself, and we carefully stuck on some return address labels and stamps and stuck them in the mail. I don't actually know if she wrote anything on the pieces of paper, or what kinds of things she had to say to Little Frog or to G, or even to herself. (I guess we'll find out about that last one when it arrives in the mail for R, though!)

Sweet Baby

What Are You Making? Clap, Clap, Clap

I've mentioned before R's obsession with Dora. We actually haven't watched an episode in awhile since we've been making our way through Happy Feet, plus she only gets to watch a movie if she listens to us when we say it's bath time/brushing teeth time/putting pajamas on time and doesn't dillydally. Lately there's been a lot of dillydallying going on.

Anyway, one of the things that happens during Dora episodes is that after finding out from Map how to get where they're going, Dora sings a song that goes something like this, "Where are we going? ((three rhythmic claps)) Dora's House! Where are we going? ((three rhythmic claps)) Dora's House!" and they sing this, oh, eight or nine times in sequence.

R likes to sing this in the car, only she sings it like this: "Where are we going? Clap Clap Clap! Where are we going? Clap Clap Clap!" In other words, instead of actually clapping, she literally says the word "Clap" three times.

Fast forward to this morning. When J was making her some breakfast, she sang, "What are you making? Clap Clap Clap!"

RUS 11 months

Happy 11 months to a happy boy. You really are a very happy little guy. You've been happy at school, which you started a couple of weeks ago. You spent the first few days exploring the room. Then you got to know your new friends. Now you seem on a mission to assert your dominance. Your teachers tell us how you are always going after the food when someone is fed at school, and today Mommy heard that you like to go up to the little babies in your class and take the pacifiers out of their mouths. I'd like to think you're just trying to be helpful - after all, you hated it any time we tried to give you one.

You're really starting to absorb everything you see and hear. Sometimes you seem to try to imitate us when we talk or make sounds (today you were imitating daddy's hiccups). You are getting back to signing now that the novelty of pointing at everything has worn off some, though you still point a lot when you first wake up from a nap. You can sign mommy and daddy, more, all done, food, water, and your own version of banana. You blow kisses, wave bye-bye, and even play peek-a-boo with us. You have taken quite an interest in books lately. In the car, in the pack-and-play, or even just crawling up to the bookshelf, you will flip through your board books and stare at the page, sometimes babbling a bit before turning the page again.

You still like to push the chairs around and you do really good with your walkers - and your sister's strollers for her dolls. But just as often, you're happy to crawl around to get where you want to go. Often, you'll push a toy along with one hand as you crawl, or hit a ball and chase it across the room. Your favorite thing lately has been pulling up on the kitchen set and pulling out all of the toy food and toy pots and pans and scattering them everywhere. And speaking of scattering, you cannot stand to see two blocks stacked atop one another. As soon as someone starts stacking blocks, you cannot resist rushing over and not just knocking them over, but really flailing away at them until no two blocks are within 3 feet of one another. I even tested this with just lining a few shape blocks alongside each other and you still had to come over and destroy any semblance of order. You are entropy incarnate.

With three teeth and more on the way, and all of the changes you're going through, you take it all so well - thanks for being such a trooper.

Alexander Francis

Alexander Francis
born 03 September 2010, 8:04 p.m.
4 lbs 6 oz
17 inches

He changed our lives forever, and we miss him dearly.

A Useful Link

How to Help and Not Piss Off Your Friends

Baby Alex

is being induced tomorrow. Please keep Surf and Cali in your prayers.