Rereading the recap of yesterday's dinner conversation, I realized that I answered R several times after she had specifically and directly addressed J. Maybe I shouldn't interrupt their conversations so often.
I don't really know how to handle conversations with R though. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get her to talk; often after day care pick ups she will screech at me in the car, "Don't talk to me! I don't want to talk right now!" Other times I try to initiate conversations with questions. It really doesn't work. I need to stop treating every conversation like an interrogation. But I don't really know what the best way to get her to talk is.
Sometimes I start by telling a story--she occasionally gets really into this. But it's not really a "conversation" about what she's doing or what she likes or what she's thinking about. And that's exactly what I wish I could access sometimes. Any suggestions?
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Daycare, I would imagine is kind of hectic and noisy. She may just be looking for quiet time on the ride home. You could try having the converstion about her day at dinner or before she goes to bed.
ReplyDeleteLove aunt t
Are you an extrovert? I'm asking this because I'm SUCH an introvert, and it sounds like maybe R. is an introvert too. If she feels tired and not ready to talk after daycare, it might be (I want to say it's even likely) that she needs to rest her brain, ears, mouth, and eyes; she needs to process.
ReplyDeleteAs an introvert, here are the things that help me at the end of a long day:
- My loved one saying, "I'm so glad to see you! Do you want to be quiet together and hold hands?"
- My loved one saying, "I'm excited to hear your stories. Do you need to take a rest first?"
- Knowing that I have a reliable space for quiet and rest before I have to talk, and before they're going to talk to me. (Maybe establish another time for "daycare chat," after she's had a chance to process? If R. is anything like me, she's DYING to share things with you, but just can't handle it right away.)
- Knowing that I am loved and valued even when I am not up to talking or listening.
sometimes when A replies with, "I don't know," in response to "What did you do today, Sunshine?" I will instead tell her what M and I did while she was in school and that gets her into telling me her story. Or I start brainstorming tomorrow's plans and then she'll pop in with, "we did that today!"
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'll just start in with a song we can sing together and that gets her loosened up and she starts chattering.
However, A is such a vocal extrovert that it's rarely quiet for long.