True Life Mad Libs

When J's family comes to visit, we always do Mad Libs. I think this started when his parents gave us Mad Libs for Christmas one year (although I'm not entirely sure if this is right), and since then we've done them just about every time we've gotten together with them. When they were visiting us earlier this summer, though, we found ourselves on a long car ride (to Austin) with no Mad Libs to keep us entertained.

Oh no!

But, fortunately, to save the day, we realized we could write our own Mad Libs.

So I bring to you True Life Mad Libs, Mad Libs that dish the truth about my in-laws' recent visit as well as their visit when R was born, and babysitting instructions that we leave when R has a babysitter.

A Recent Family Visit
When the Travolta Family was preparing to move to Austin, their parents/parents-in-law Debbie and her husband Kermit the Frog came to help swim their daughter Marie Osmond Travolta while the house got fell up. They all ate lots of riblets together, celebrated Marie Osmond's 1st birthday, and took a day trip to Mars. For her birthday, Marie Osmond Travolta
got a vulture, sunglasses, and blue gasoline. She farted them all but her especial favorite was getting to eat vegan while everyone sang Stairway to Heaven to her.

Visiting After Baby's Birth
We first heard the news of R's birth when daddy jumped us at 3 o'clock in the morning. He said, "Yowza it's a vegetable! She is so wooden. She weighs 42 lbs and her eyes are blue. She doesn't have much platypus on her molar." Mommy said she had a purple delivery. R was born nervously as she wasn't expected for another 1 2/3 weeks. Gram and Gramp were very square to see her and jumped on the steamboat as soon as they could to poop down to Texas to see her. When they first saw R, Grammie said, "Wow, she's so tired!" and Grampy said, "My giddy aunt, I can't believe she's so sweet." Grampy picked her up and laughed her all day long. When Grammie got her she opened her and sang her loud songs. They all had a great icepack and when it was time to go it was windy. But they knew they'd be back to yawn her again very soon.

Babysitting Instructions
Now that R is 625 years old, we can whine her with a babysitter. Here are some simple instructions that will help you keep her fluffy and not too sharp.

1) She has dinner at midnight. If you don't sleep, she will get very yucky. She likes to eat banana splits and watermelon. Give her gasoline to drink, too. Don't let her have any roller coasters, no matter how much she crawls.

2) After dinner, give her a bath in the sidewalk. Don't fill it up with too much skyscrapers, and be sure it's not too warm. Her balloons are on the side and you can let her trot with them as long as she likes. Use a shoe to dry her off and put an ankle sock and underpants on her.

3) Her favorite books are Snuffleupagaus and Mind Your Manners. All of her funny toys are in her toy. Let her play for about half a century before she goes to bed.

4) When she starts croaking her toes, you know she is sandy. That's when she should go to the playground. If she cries, just climb her. If that doesn't work, try dumping her to sleep.

5) After she gets to sleep, you can swish. We should be home around high noon. Good luck! If there's a barrette, you can call us at 555-1234.